Spiritual Alchemy
Transformation of Ego

Ego Death? Ego Dissolution? Ego Dis-Illusion?

Mention "ego" and the words "selfish" or at the extreme "evil" may come to mind, as if "ego" is innately bad and something to be rid of or kill, but ego has an important purpose in our evolutionary development. Yes, ego may from time to time lead us astray from that purpose, but before we get all judgemental, let's first try to understanding the formation and role of ego in our multidimensional journey through creation.

Spiritual Ego
Source and Purpose of Ego

(Disclaimer: The info presented in this website is based on my own opinions and intuitive sense of the spirit realms. If it resonates as truth to you, so be it. If not, I hope it at least stimulates your imagination).

Our inquiry into understanding ego starts at the very beginning - the creation or source of ego itself. At one of the highest dimensions of the etheric realms there exists (IMHO) a vast etheric primal "flame" of creation, what seems to be the substance ego is sourced from. To be clear, I am speaking of just the creation of ego here, NOT of the soul (soul has a different source and substance). At some point there was initiated a chain reaction within this "flame" causing it to fracture into countless separate individual aspects or "sparks". By some force of attraction or will these sparks were gathered into our soul to settle and incorporate somewhere in our subtle energy bodies. It is this "spark" that we may call our etheric or "Spiritual Ego".

Unadulterated healthy and whole, this spark may first appear (in its potential state) as a bright "seed", or (in a more evolved soul) as like a butterfly, or perhaps as a dragon, or firebird, or phoenix, or even as a multi-faceted holographic "flower" where each petal embodies a unique color in a multi-dimensional array. In any case, the essence of the etheric ego is like a flame that is in constant flux, acting as a stimulating motivating force of desire and passion in resonance with the primal flame of creation.

flame of creation, motivating force of desire and passion

The transformation of ego from gross to sublime is at the heart of all personal growth.

There are a number of ideas how to achieve ego transformation, but this in essence is what "Spiritual Alchemy" or "Alchemical Healing" is about. But before we speak more about alchemy or healing, let's start with a huge leap of faith and assume that the “spiritual ego” is our personal portion, manifestation or expression of the "Primal Flame of Creation". If that is indeed so, this means that the spiritual ego - as created by God - is therefore Perfect "as is" and is thus innately good (or at least has the potential for good).

Purposes of Spiritual Ego

And as it is of God, our spiritual ego (our personal "spark" of the "Primal Flame") most likely holds the memory of the passionate cosmic creation of the multi-dimensional universe... and likely identifies and is connected to that dynamic source. So one purpose of the spiritual ego would be as a centering or "focal point" to assure the soul (in states of expanded consciousness) that it always have an internal reference point so if it become scattered or lost while journeying within or beyond the infinity of space time, it always knows the way home (sort of like a bonfire in the pitch black of night marks a hikers way back to a camping site, or like a compass always points in the direction of true north).
Another purpose of the spiritual ego would be as a sort of "touchstone" to remind aspects of self who we as creative (and created) fiery beings are. This would (hopefully) encourage us to release our limited human sense of self identity... beyond our thoughts, feelings, day to day issues and worries... beyond unhealthy and inappropriate attachments to our mate, immediate family, clan, tribe, village or state... beyond our culture, creed, job title, degree or financial status... beyond our race, religion, sex or sexual orientation, political affiliation, age or even pant size ! Releasing attachment and identity to these constrained forms of creation, what remains is pure awareness of the Primal Flame, which in essense is Universal Love.

Arrogance of the Spiritual Ego
When the human soul sees its own spiritual identity and ego as one of many (nearly infinite) sparks from out of the Creator God or Source, there is a sense of humbleness wonder and awe. Feeling we are a part of so many living expressions of the One Being expands our minds and opens our hearts to embrace this greater life beyond self. But if the human soul starts to believe its own spiritual ego AS the Creator God or Source and not as an individual spark of it, this then leads to a sort of arrogance that "I" can do no wrong, "I" have all the answers, "I" can do it all by myself, "I" am above all others and have no peer, "I" have no one to answer to. These are the people who are often in positions of great authority and unquestioned power, the cult leaders, the dictators, the narcissists, those whom others blindly follow or conversely, are in great fear of (perhaps you know a few of these people?).

The Secret Key to Alchemical Transformation

The heart of the process to transform ego identification and attachment - from gross to sublime... is successfully achieved within the purifying fires of the psyche. The Brahmin priests in India have been intentionally performing this internal transformational practice for literally thousands of years through a very elaborate involved ritual called The Agni Fire Ceremony. The formal ceremony is held at the most auspicious astrological dates and times and incorporates the recitation of special mantras by trained priests. While this is going on, rice kernels are placed in hand where thoughts of things one wishes to release and be free of are projected.. and then thrown into the ceremonial fires to be consumed... burned... transformed into pure energy. The sacred container of The Agni Fire Ceremony has been imbued with intention and energy from thousands of years of use, so it has a very strong effect beyond what someone can do on their own. The key ingredient or secret factor that makes this fire ceremony work in the first place is having the psychic support of someone who can access the transformative fires within themselves and add their psychic fire to yours !
It is this added "psychic heat" that is the secret key to personal transformation of ego.
Though few of us can travel to India and take part in such an elaborate ceremony, the essence of this work can be transmitted long distance via a healing session.

Agni Fire Ceremony for healing and purification of body, mind, energy and ego

Those who are willing to release and burn up self limiting ego attachments and identifications that stand in the way to the realization of pure awareness and universal love, alchemical transformational sessions are now available. Pay for and Schedule HERE.

Now that we have covered the higher dimension

Astral Ego

The “Astral Ego” is the astral facet of that “flame”, held within the core of the astral body. Its colors vary and are generally vivid neon bright in shade. Its desire is to explore and experience the astral dimensions and inhabitants in all their various forms and expressions. (Many artists live and work from here).

Mental Ego
The “Mental Ego” or "Ego Mind" is the facet of that “flame” that thinks, held within the core of the mental body. Its color is yellow to gold, dark or lightly shaded. Where the spiritual egos desire is about expanding and uniting with the Creator and love, the desire of the ego mind is to label, compartmentalize, collect and contain every thing concept and experience into tidy little boxes (figuratively or real), in order to have a sense of order in chaos, that all makes sense, to make one think all is safe and we are, at the least, symbolically, conceptually and philosophically at one, or if not one, then all are in their rightful place. (Many scientists work from here).

Tribal Ego
The "Tribal Ego" is the biological or genetic facet of that "flame", held within the core of our sexual body. Its color is orange. It is how we come to identify or feel at one with others through selective inclusion (or exclusion), and how we find and chose our mates to reproduce, and families (and friends) to nurture, protect and defend.

Reptilian Ego
The "Reptilian Ego" is the lower material facet of that "flame", closer to the earth, and thus held within the core of the physical body (in the reptilian brain at the base of the skull). Its color is dark red brown or black. It is about survival, manipulation, domination and control over environment, self and others.

with trauma, ego's positive attributes can turn negative
During excessive stress or trauma, the facet of any particular ego (on any level), can be distorted or twisted, fractured from itself or from the whole. In these instances, the ego is disconnected or separated from the guiding desires of its higher nature, and instead of following a higher purpose and passion, the ego goes into survival mode, resisting and distracting.
If we are guided by a healthy “spiritual” ego, we are in harmony and at one with our self and the universe. However, when we become disconnected from that level of awareness, pure drive and desire, we are left to function from the lower egos. This soon creates a state of internal conflict with self and others, disharmonious thoughts of separation, lack, pain and fear for survival. In the vast history of human incarnation on this planet, there have been many occasions when the conditions of life (both natural and man made) were quite severe and traumatic, and simply to survive humans needed to kill or be killed. Sadly, there are a great many today who are still struggling to survive and thus allow the passions and drives of their lower ego to take over (thus all our wars, for ex). It is my hope that those of us who are consciously following the higher urges of the spiritual ego (by following a healing path for example) become more aware of a greater purpose in life, and if enough strive for that, we as a species can move beyond our small ways.

When we were first created there was no space or time, no "where" or "when", no concept of duality, no separation between people and things, no sense of "I" "you" "mine" or "yours". There was just an expansive, unlimited awareness of the ALL. We were at one with the "universal mind" and resonated with the music of the universe (the sound of AUM). And yet, over the course of time (it could have been a moment or a millennia) we realized that we were also endowed with an individual soul containing the rudiments of a separate ego mind with a voice of its own. This allowed us to have the freedom and ability to discriminate and choose between one thing or another, between "yes" or "no". And with that ability to choose came the self directing, self motivating will power to act upon that determination.

And just like what happened in the Garden of Eden, nudged by our reptilian ego (the serpent?) we ate the "apple" and gained the "knowledge of good and evil" (the awareness of "duality"). And with this one little choice, the great separation or rift in unity consciousness began, eventually to cascade from one defying choice after another, sweeping us further and further into duality and separation... deeper and deeper into darkness and heavier density... muffling our conscious awareness of the "universal mind" into an almost imperceptible still small voice. We had stepped upon a path where the vibrations and energies became more dense and material, descending us deeper into the lower realms of creation. And the further we moved away from the unity and harmony of the “Universal Mind” and the clarity of its resonant truth, the louder the voice of the "ego mind" got (one drowning the other out). It is this "ego mind" we must now grapple with as it still judges and wills, perhaps now more than ever. And our soul still must decide what voice it will listen to (hint; the voice that yells loudest does not make it true).

The results of any choices we have ever made, the fruit of these actions (our "karma") is held within our energy vibrational bodies, making up who we are physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, today and into the future.

We are the way we are because of all the choices we have ever made.
So too is the world the way it is because of the accumulated choices of all who have ever lived on her.

The Ego Mind labels or identifies the world around it (including its self) from and within a conceptual or mental frame of reference. This is good in the sense that by being able to discriminate between one thing and another, we have developed a complex language which enables us to communicate with other people... which has laid the foundation for us to practically (and inventively) manipulate and control the world around us. The downside is that the ego mind tends to identify with actions, things, people and ideas, thus contracting our energies and consciousness into compartmentalized boxes such as: this car is mine; this is my wife; I am your son; you are my child; I am white; I am a Christian; I am a Democrat, and so on.... This identification and attachment alters ones thinking process and subsequent actions, all of which creates and locks us into cycles of energetic patterns and programs called by the Yogis "samscaras".

Ego Mind also sits in judgment on these differences between actions, things, people and ideas, eventually labeling one "good" and the other "bad". These learned behaviors and belief systems become indelibly imprinted upon our mind (like programing a computer) held within our energetic and cellular memories, passed down in us (and our ancestral lineage or tribal ego mind and DNA) lifetime after lifetime... on and on until they get deleted (if ever). When our ego mind starts to create and accumulate all these incidental programs, our divine purpose instilled in us by our creator becomes overwritten and we start to run on the egos distorted programs. From here it’s just a matter of time before we become subject to and creations of our own ego. And for all intents and purposes, our ego replaces the True and becomes our God - the self created idol of our worship. Through subterfuge of the consciousness, the ego further subverts and usurps our divine purposes (like a virus that can mimic and confuse the immune systems' own antibodies). At this point, the ego is so insidiously enmeshed within our psyche that it can fool us into believing anything. When it comes to spiritual matters, its rational thinking can run circles around our intuitive feelings, leading us to believe all sorts of lies as true (as exemplified so well in George Orwell's book "1984", when he writes: "War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.)

"In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
George Orwell

Through the Divine Light of this healing work, distortions of the ego mind can be broken down and released. The old twisted paradigms, programs, traditions, ideas, belief systems... all that you have accumulated from your church, school, family, friends... will no longer fit, and you will once again be free to follow your divine passionate purpose to be your highest Truth.

Those who are willing to release and burn up self limiting ego attachments and identifications that stand in the way to the realization of pure awareness and universal love, alchemical transformational sessions are now available. Pay for and Schedule HERE.

Ego Orientation
There is a time and a place to focus on and strengthen ego-identity, and a time to release it. In our culture (generally speaking), men have over-developed ego minds in order to function more efficiently in the rational world. Men's ego orientation is centered around and for themselves and what they can accomplish. For women, we may see the opposite (though this is changing as more women enter academia and engage in a full time career). Traditionally, the woman's ego focus has been more on the needs of her children (verses herself). Mothers hold their children to be the center of their world...their egoic point of reference then is driven by the Tribal Ego Mind, not so much inside themselves as for their children and immediate family. All the mothers thoughts, feelings, identity... is invested in this "other". The mother holds her ego identity and attention outwardly focused or expanded onto others, while the fathers attention is directed towards personal achievement of self. All judgement aside, both can provide healthy ego role models for the developing child.

One must first fully embrace the energetic container and content of ones limitations before being able to completely transform and or release them.

Children all go through a stage where they feel as if the world revolves around them - where they are held to develop as in a cocoon. This is an important period where the ego is needed to form in order to develop a strong sense of personal boundaries and a strong central point of reference. Once firmly established, it is then possible to shift and expand that limited perspective towards a different point of view or dimension (when its time to release the containment of the cocoon and freely fly out into the world). If the soul has not had the proper time and environment to completely develop the various facets of its ego, then it will be stuck, not able to shift or adjust from one facet to the other as needed.

Ego Integrity

Throughout all our past lives existing on this or other planet and/or dimension... we have had to compromise (as in to relinquish, trade, or outright sell) our soul's integrity (what we feel is right and true) to those more powerful beings or forces who have been (or still are) in dominant controlling positions over our lives. This is especially true in regard to that portion of our Soul that is the Ego, which is all about our survival. So if in order to survive we needed to become something or someone we are not, the ego steps in to help. And since it is human nature to follow the examples shown us (good or bad) learning and doing what we know (even if distorted), we tend to perpetuate dysfunction by becoming co-conspirators, further teaching and enlisting others by overstepping their healthy boundaries, and the cycle of victim and perpetrator continues.

Integrity and Boundaries - A Practice

The basic foundation of any dynamic spiritual growth is rooted in having "Integrity" - intact personal boundaries and a core self identity. If sense of self is undeveloped or weak, one is not able to hold their ground in the world and in relationships. The converse is a problem too - with too strong of an ego and will without a respectful sense of other, one easily oversteps into someone else's space. Either case is a problem of personal integrity - one exhibits passive tendencies, the other arrogant. When you have a strong sense of integrity - of where you end and another begins - you will be able to say "NO!”, mean it and unshakably stand in that truth no matter what the consequence. As a child, most people were not given sovereignty over their own personal space (being dominated by someone else's will) and are still in reaction to this in many aspects of their lives (perhaps exhibited as passive aggressive behaviors).

Here is a practice for you to develop your personal space - your ego-will.
Go into your room or some personal private area where you feel safe to connect to the universe and your God/Higher Self (somewhere that is sound proof). Yell and scream "NO" over and over.

See how this makes you feel. There is no one there but you and God. No one is telling you this is wrong. Saying "NO" is acceptable and allowed. It is your choice. In fact, if you cannot say "NO" with firmness and commitment, can you truly say "Yes" to life? It is two sides to the same coin, and both must be honored. (For balance, you may also practice the reverse and say "YES" over and over

The next step in this practice is to say "No" to someone you have always said "Yes" to in regard to a certain matter. This is an exercise in developing boundaries, open communication and trust. If you have a relationship where you are respected as a sovereign individual, then they will honor your "No" with as much love and acceptance as a "Yes". When you do this practice, choose what you say "No" to very carefully, making it something that is just about your life and your boundaries. Be prepared for any response from this other person. Remember, this is a test of your boundaries and integrity and to what extent other people in your life are honoring of that. It is also a test of how unconditionally loving and accepting the other person is of you. The converse is true too - when you start to claim your personal space, you must also give others their space and honor their NO's.

Ego - Friend or Foe
Your ego can be your best friend or worst enemy. If you find that your ego is running your life, it will not easily or willingly surrender or relinquish control and power to the higher authority (your God Self). But it has always been your choice who you give the power and control of your life over too - your ego self or your God Self (or maybe to some external authority). When you finally realize that the ego (after running your life into the ground and destroying everything and everyone around) is maybe not the best most wisest ruler... perhaps only then are you ready to make another choice and surrender control of your life up to a Higher Power (to learn "humility", we must often seek this help through a human channel).

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said
"My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all."
"One is evil - it is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."
"The  other is God - it is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather
"Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied
"The one you feed."

However divine or flawed, our parents tried to do the best they could, but everyone is to some extent trapped by their own egoic devices. Though our earthly parents tried to wisely guide our choices, there comes a point when we realize they have reached the end of their ability... and this is when our journey starts, when we begin to search for someone who may guide us beyond. For many, this is where the healer steps in to show you to the "Inner Door", where you may come to know your own spiritual master - your Inner Parent.

Ego Attachment and Fear
We are frail and insecure creatures subject to a human nature that has been thousands of years in the making, struggling with the basic needs to survive in an ever changing world. We all have learned to hold on with a death grip to people places things, no matter if it eventually falls apart, fades and dies. This is our ego programing.

"Store not your treasures where rust doth corrupt"

We hold on to concepts, beliefs, bodies, people, things, feelings, memories... everything that is constant and does not change. No wonder we are in fear... the fear of losing all these things runs our lives: fear of loss, fear of being out of control, fear of pain, fear of getting old, fear of dying, fear of being wrong... these are just a few. And yet, as long as we are holding on, it seems inevitable and logical that all things we "possess" will eventually fall through our hands... and all our worst fears will be realized. What to do?

One of the more serious problems a soul may have while it exists in this material world - even for the souls who dwell in the spirit realms - is that of ego "attachment", be it to attract something to ones self, or repel. Even the slightest degree of attachment, if combined with the souls power of intention, can have serious consequences. One slight intention can cascade into a series of events that once started cannot be stopped. In the weightless of space, an imperceptible touch motivated by a subconscious thought, may nudge an object towards a certain trajectory.. so to can a person in body, with the slightest push of a tiny rock, start a cascade effect that will create an avalanche of boulders to roll down a mountain. In heaven as it is on earth, this is the power of ego, intention, attachment, attraction and repulsion.

The universal law of attraction states that you will gravitate towards and attract what you desire. But once you have the object of your desire, it might then possess you.

If you hold anger, fear, hate and violence (no matter how deeply hidden within your sub-consciousness) that is what you will magnetize to yourself - no matter if it (or you) exists in physical or non physical form. Such things will draw themselves to you as matter floating in weightless space is attracted by the gravity of a planet. And as more and more stuff is accumulated, it will add its density or weight upon or around your soul... and quite possibly to your physical body (which may be one cause of obesity). The more you can un-attach or let go of your “stuff”, the freer and lighter you will become. This is of course easier said than done... which is why we all need some extra healing help.

The Heroes Journey
The "Heroes Journey" has classically been described as the physical odyssey one takes after engaging in some terrible misdeed resulting in great personal loss... where there is a long period of seeking for forgiveness and redemption.. and a subsequent return to innocence. But in the spiritual energetic odyssey there is no one sin and fall from grace, but rather a retracing of the souls steps back through multi-dimensional time and space to become at one with the very source of creation. The main impediment in the physical odyssey occur with ego-mind which tends to "identify" with and attach itself to the people places and things including experiences and stories gathered along the way, and in the spiritual odyssey the main impediment in the spiritual odyssey is when the ego-mind itself with the denser states of energy and consciousness. Healing in the later case becomes more than simply doing "energy work" and transforming various stagnant states of matter... one must also work with the "consciousness" to release or "liberate" the ego-mind from its identifications and attachments (this is no small task). Over the course of eons the soul has forgotten the awareness of Source and become willfully entrenched in the illusion of separation. This is why the spiritual path is the ultimate "heroes journey" (that few travel) : being willing to internally let go of attachments to people, places, things, experiences, belief systems, feelings, thoughts... requires acts of trust, will and faith in Spirit that go beyond the conventional reasoning and motivations of most people. But If we cease to release, change and flow... that is to say, if we hang on to our attachments and illusions and stop moving, stretching or expanding... our minds, thoughts, energies, emotions and body become more and more stagnated, congested, contracted, darker and denser till our physical body can no longer hold our life force and it -this physical bodily shell- dies.

To experience a more abundant life, we must be in a state of constant change and “stretch” or “expand” in every way possible. Life itself does have a way of naturally doing this, but we can proactively help it along. There are many spiritual paths and practices that attempt this and each has it's place. What I am offering here is one of them.

My Healing Journey
Very early on in my healing journey I understood that as I became a more clear connected channel to Source... and correspondedly grounded ALL that into my human energy field, the more I was able to help others. Over the course of many years I have seen this truth demonstrated in thousands of my clients. Each time I made an internal breakthrough, my clients experienced deeper more powerful longer lasting results in their sessions. The more I grew as a healer, the greater a variety of issues I could work on. This process is very much like peeling an onion: healing and clearing stuff on one dimension allowed me to drop down to the next deeper level of stuff... clearing and healing that... the next level... then the next.... wave after wave... work... clear... heal... master... and move on. Years later here we are.

The Healing path has been -for me- a very internal process that required a constant intentional focus to find and clear more and more stuff in myself... the merits of these labors I can now apply towards my clients healing.

The best way we can ever hope to directly inter-face and inter-act with what is real in this very moment is to not be prejudiced, tainted, or influenced by all the “stuff” or "baggage" we hold. Over lifetimes of journeying through many lands, we have accumulated much "baggage", helpful at times, most is now outmoded and obsolete... yet we are still carrying it around (and it is slowing us down).

Within every "bag" comes a number of multi-colored (some very dark) reading glasses and an instruction manual on how to function in one particular situation or another. Some baggage has a name on it that says "relationships", one says "belief systems", and another "thoughts" and so on. When we come into a new situation, we can't help but bring out our "baggage", pull out our glasses and consult our manual. Some people are very comfortable and feel safe with all this paraphernalia - it gives them the belief that their lives are organized and they can make sense of reality and thus know how to think, feel, and act in every situation. Many are so fearfully attached to their stuff they won't part from it for anything. Look around at all the things people have - it’s all a reflection of their inner. The difficulty arises when, in addition to all your baggage, the people we interact with bring their baggage glasses and manuals... so instead of interacting directly with that other person, you see them through this "stuff". When you realize that your interpersonal relationships are filtered through"stuff", it can be very saddening.

Once you are free of more and more stuff (via the healings) perhaps you will begin to see that what you thought was reality is like nothing it appeared to be: The people we thought we knew are nothing like they really are. The truths we earlier believed in are empty shadows - mere reflections of something else, deceptions or outright lies.

Underneath the surface, there exists layers and layers of diverse consciousness and vibrations... whole worlds invisible to the material eye... multi-dimensional beings behind beings... wheels within wheels... spinning agendas desires and determinations... plans cast eons ago unfolding in the now and eternal future. And we think we know what truth is? The best we can hope for (if we really work at it) is to be clear enough of our personal baggage so we can directly experience who we really are... and perhaps, just perhaps, we may be able to really know another.

Those who are willing to release and burn up self limiting ego attachments and identifications that stand in the way to the realization of pure awareness and universal love, alchemical transformational sessions are now available. Pay for and Schedule HERE

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