Understanding The Ego
Spirit to Shadow
Ego and most people think "selfish", or at the extreme "evil",
but all that exists - including the ego - was created (by "God") for a
purpose. We may gain understanding of why or how the ego may go
astray of that purpose by taking a closer look at its long journey through creation, and the various multi-dimensional
parts it is composed of.
The Spiritual Ego
the "Beginning" of Creation (before the "BIG BANG") our collective
spiritual identity (the big "SELF") existed unified, whole and
complete as an eternal "Flame". Something (a choice?) initiated and
catalyzed a chain reaction that exploded this Flame and caused it to fracture into separate individual parts or
"sparks". Residing in the core of each soul is the Spiritual Ego - our
personal portion or "spark" of this great “Divine Flame”.
In its most healthy pure
whole state, this spark appears as a multi-faceted holographic flower, each petal
embodying one unique color in a multi-dimensional array. Each petal of the
Ego is connected to and located in our various dimensional energy
bodies and chakras, not necessarily in the center, but somewhere in the
core. As the Ego is like a flame (thus imaged as a petal but upright),
it is in constant flux, undulating up, down and around. It is in a way,
a motivating force in our lives, created by and run on passion and
The following are a few of these Egos facets, flames or petals:
The “Spiritual Ego” is the highest, etheric facet of that “flame” at the core of the etheric body
This "etheric flame" holds the memory of this passionate cosmic event
(the creation of the multi-dimensional universe), and still identifies
itself as - and is connected to - its Oneness. The colors vary across
the spectrum, most all very light pastel in shade. Its constant desire
is to unite our lower individual selves (aspects) and all creation back
into Unity with its Source - God. The spiritual ego acts as a sort of
that reminds lower aspects of our soul (weighed down by density) who we
really are, and
like a compass, points us in the direction we must go to get back home.
The essence of our spiritual ego reminds us of a more glorious
collective identity, encouraging us to rise and expand beyond the
mundane limited sense of self...
beyond our mate, immediate family, clan, tribe, village, or state...
beyond our culture or creed, job title or degree, financial status,
race, religion, sex or sexual orientation, political affiliation, age
or even pant size. By following the guiding light of this Divine Flame,
our awareness and sense of self expand far enough that we - our
individual Divine Flame of Self - eventually reaching the pinnacle
experience - we all as one burn in the Flame of Universal Love.
Confusion and Arrogance of the Spiritual Ego
When the human soul sees its own spiritual identity and ego as one of
many (nearly infinite) sparks from out of the Creator God or Source,
there is a sense of humbleness, wonder and awe. Feeling we are a part
of so many living expressions of the One Being expands our minds and
opens our hearts to embrace this greater life beyond. But when the
human souls sees its own spiritual ego AS the Creator God or Source and
as an individual spark from it, then there is confusion... and this
confusion eventually leads to a sort of arrogance that "I" can do no
wrong, have all the answers, are above all others and have no peers nor
anyone to answer to. Anyone in power or high authority runs this risk.
The Astral Ego
The “Astral Ego” is the astral facet of that “flame”, held within the
core of the astral body
. Its colors vary and are generally vivid
neon bright in shade. Its desire is to explore and experience the astral
dimensions and inhabitants in all their various forms and expressions.
(Many artists live and work from here).
The Mental Ego
The “Mental Ego” or "Ego Mind" is the facet of that “flame” that thinks,
held within the core of the mental body
. Its color is yellow to
gold, dark or lightly shaded. Where the spiritual egos desire is about
expanding and uniting with the Creator and love, the desire of the ego
mind is to label, compartmentalize, collect and contain every thing
concept and experience into tidy little boxes (figuratively or real), in
order to have a sense of order in chaos, that all makes sense, to make
one think all is safe and we are, at the least, symbolically,
conceptually and philosophically at one, or if not one, then all are in
their rightful place. (Many scientists work from here).
The Tribal Ego
The "Tribal Ego" is the biological or genetic facet of that
"flame", held within the core of our sexual
. Its color is orange. It is how we come to identify or
feel at one with others through selective inclusion (or exclusion), and
how we find and chose our mates to reproduce, and families (and friends)
to nurture, protect and defend.
The Reptilian Ego
The "Reptilian Ego" is the lower material facet of that "flame",
closer to the earth, and thus held within the core of the physical body
(in the reptilian brain at the base of the skull). Its color is dark red
brown or black. It is about survival, manipulation, domination and
control over environment, self and others.
with trauma, the ego's positive
attributes can turn negative
During excessive stress or trauma, the facet of any particular ego (on
any level), can be distorted or twisted, fractured from itself or from
the whole. In these instances, the ego is disconnected or separated from
the guiding desires of its higher nature, and instead of following a
higher purpose and passion, the ego goes into survival mode, resisting
If we are guided by a healthy “spiritual” ego, we are in harmony and at
one with our self and the universe. However, when we become disconnected
from that level of awareness, pure drive and desire, we are left to
function from the lower egos. This soon creates a state of internal
conflict with self and others, disharmonious thoughts of separation,
lack, pain and fear for survival. In the vast history of human
incarnation on this planet, there have been many occasions when the
conditions of life (both natural and man made) were quite severe and
traumatic, and simply to survive humans needed to kill or be killed.
Sadly, there are a great many today who are still struggling to survive
and thus allow the passions and drives of their lower ego to take over
(thus all our wars, for ex). It is my hope that those of us who are
consciously following the higher urges of the spiritual ego (by
following a healing path for example) become more aware of a greater
purpose in life, and if enough strive for that, we as a species can move
beyond our small ways.
When we were first created...
Our experience of the universe was undifferentiated.
There was no space or time.
There was no "where" or "when".
There was no concept of duality, only an awareness of "The One"
There was no separation between people and things.
There was no sense of "I" or "you", "mine" or "yours"
There was just an expansive, unlimited awareness of the unity of all
creation. We were at one with the "universal mind" and we could hear the
"universal voice" (the sound of AUM) resounding through all. And yet, in
the space of time (it could have been a moment or a millennia) we
realized that we were also endowed with an individual soul containing
the rudiments of a separate ego mind with a voice of its own. This
allowed us to have the freedom and ability to discriminate and choose
between one thing or another, between "yes" or "no". And with that
ability to choose came the self directing, self motivating will power to
act upon that determination.
And just like what happened in the Garden of Eden, nudged by our
reptilian ego (the serpent?) we ate the "apple" and gained the
"knowledge of good and evil" (the awareness of "duality"). And with this
one little choice, the great separation or rift in unity consciousness
began, eventually to cascade from one defying choice after another,
sweeping us further and further into duality and separation... deeper
and deeper into darkness and heavier density... muffling our conscious
awareness of the "universal mind" into an almost imperceptible still
small voice. We had stepped upon a path where the vibrations and
energies became more dense and material, descending us deeper into the
lower realms of creation. And the further we moved away from the unity
and harmony of the “Universal Mind” and the clarity of its resonant
truth, the louder the voice of the "ego mind" got (one drowning the
other out). It is this "ego mind" we must now grapple with as it still
judges and wills, perhaps now more than ever. And our soul still must
decide what voice it will listen to (hint; the voice that yells loudest
does not make it true).
The results of any choices we have ever made, the fruit of these actions
(our "karma") is held within our energy vibrational bodies, making up
who we are physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, today and
into the future.
We are the way we are because of all
the choices we have ever made.
So too is the world the way it is because of the accumulated choices of
all who have ever lived on her.
The Ego Mind labels or identifies the world around it (including its
self) from and within a conceptual or mental frame of reference. This is
good in the sense that by being able to discriminate between one thing
and another, we have developed a complex language which enables us to
communicate with other people... which has laid the foundation for us to
practically (and inventively) manipulate and control the world around
us. The downside is that the ego mind tends to identify with actions,
things, people and ideas, thus contracting our energies and
consciousness into compartmentalized boxes such as: this car is mine;
this is my wife; I am your son; you are my child; I am white; I am a
Christian; I am a Democrat, and so on.... This identification and
attachment alters ones thinking process and subsequent actions, all of
which creates and locks us into cycles of energetic patterns and
programs called by the Yogis "samscaras".
The Ego Mind also sits in judgment on these differences between actions,
things, people and ideas, eventually labeling one "good" and the other
"bad". These learned behaviors and belief systems become indelibly
imprinted upon our mind (like programing a computer) held within our
energetic and cellular memories, passed down in us (and our ancestral
lineage or tribal ego mind and DNA) lifetime after lifetime... on and on
until they get deleted (if ever). When our ego mind starts to create and
accumulate all these incidental programs, our divine purpose instilled
in us by our creator becomes overwritten and we start to run on the egos
distorted programs. From here it’s just a matter of time before we
become subject to and creations of our own ego. And for all intents and
purposes, our ego replaces the True and becomes our God - the self
created idol of our worship. Through subterfuge of the consciousness,
the ego further subverts and usurps our divine purposes (like a virus
that can mimic and confuse the immune systems' own antibodies). At this
point, the ego is so insidiously enmeshed within our psyche that it can
fool us into believing anything. When it comes to spiritual matters, its
rational thinking can run circles around our intuitive feelings, leading
us to believe all sorts of lies as true (as exemplified so well in
George Orwell's book "1984", when he writes: "War is peace. Freedom is
slavery. Ignorance is strength.)
"In a time of
universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act
Through the Divine Light of this healing work, distortions of the ego
mind can be broken down and released. The old twisted paradigms,
programs, traditions, ideas, belief systems... all that you have
accumulated from your church, school, family, friends... will no longer
fit, and you will once again be free to follow your divine passionate
purpose to be your highest Truth.
There is a time and a place to focus on and strengthen ego-identity, and
a time to release it. In our culture (generally speaking), men have
over-developed ego minds in order to function more efficiently in the
rational world. Men's ego orientation is centered around and for
themselves and what they can accomplish. For women, we may see the
opposite (though this is changing as more women enter academia and
engage in a full time career). Traditionally, the woman's ego focus has
been more on the needs of her children (verses herself). Mothers hold
their children to be the center of their world...their egoic point of
reference then is driven by the Tribal Ego Mind, not so much inside
themselves as for their children and immediate family. All the mothers
thoughts, feelings, identity... is invested in this "other". The mother
holds her ego identity and attention outwardly focused or expanded onto
others, while the fathers attention is directed towards personal
achievement of self. All judgement aside, both can provide healthy ego
role models for the developing child.
One must first fully embrace the
energetic container and content of ones limitations before being able
to completely transform and or release them.
Children all go through a stage where they feel as if the world revolves
around them - where they are held to develop as in a cocoon. This is an
important period where the ego is needed to form in order to develop a
strong sense of personal boundaries and a strong central point of
reference. Once firmly established, it is then possible to shift and
expand that limited perspective towards a different point of view or
dimension (when its time to release the containment of the cocoon and
freely fly out into the world). If the soul has not had the proper time
and environment to completely develop the various facets of its ego,
then it will be stuck, not able to shift or adjust from one facet to the
other as needed.
Throughout all our past lives existing on this or other planet and/or
dimension... we have had to compromise (as in to relinquish, trade, or
outright sell) our soul's integrity (what we feel is right and true) to
those more powerful beings or forces who have been (or still are) in
dominant controlling positions over our lives. This is especially true
in regard to that portion of our Soul that is the Ego, which is all
about our survival. So if in order to survive we needed to become
something or someone we are not, the ego steps in to help. And since it
is human nature to follow the examples shown us (good or bad) learning
and doing what we know (even if distorted), we tend to perpetuate
dysfunction by becoming co-conspirators, further teaching and enlisting
others by overstepping their healthy boundaries, and the cycle of
victim and perpetrator continues.
Integrity and Boundaries - A Practice
The basic foundation of any dynamic spiritual growth is rooted in having
"Integrity" - intact personal boundaries and a core self identity. If
sense of self is undeveloped or weak, one is not able to hold their
ground in the world and in relationships. The converse is a problem too
- with too strong of an ego and will without a respectful sense of
other, one easily oversteps into someone else's space. Either case is a
problem of personal integrity - one exhibits passive tendencies, the
other arrogant. When you have a strong sense of integrity - of where you
end and another begins - you will be able to say "NO!”, mean it and
unshakably stand in that truth no matter what the consequence. As a
child, most people were not given sovereignty over their own personal
space (being dominated by someone else's will) and are still in reaction
to this in many aspects of their lives (perhaps exhibited as passive
Here is a practice for you to develop your personal space - your
Go into your room or some personal private area where you feel safe to
connect to the universe and your God/Higher Self (somewhere that is
sound proof). Yell and scream "NO" over and over.
NO NO NO NO NO
See how this makes you feel. There is no one there but you and God. No
one is telling you this is wrong. Saying "NO" is acceptable and allowed.
It is your choice. In fact, if you cannot say "NO" with firmness and
commitment, can you truly say "Yes" to life? It is two sides to the same
coin, and both must be honored. (For balance, you may also practice the
reverse and say "YES" over and over
YES YES YES YES YES
The next step in this practice is to say "No" to someone you have always
said "Yes" to in regard to a certain matter. This is an exercise in
developing boundaries, open communication and trust. If you have a
relationship where you are respected as a sovereign individual, then
they will honor your "No" with as much love and acceptance as a "Yes".
When you do this practice, choose what you say "No" to very carefully,
making it something that is just about your life and your boundaries. Be
prepared for any response from this other person. Remember, this is a
test of your boundaries and integrity and to what extent other people in
your life are honoring of that. It is also a test of how unconditionally
loving and accepting the other person is of you. The converse is true
too - when you start to claim your personal space, you must also give
others their space and honor their NO's.
Ego - Friend or Foe
Your ego can be your best friend or worst enemy. If you find that your
ego is running your life, it will not easily or willingly surrender or
relinquish control and power to the higher authority (your God Self).
But it has always been your
choice who you give the power and control of your life over too - your
ego self or your God Self (or maybe to some external authority). When
you finally realize that the ego (after running your life into the
ground and destroying everything and everyone around) is maybe not the
best most wisest ruler... perhaps only then are you ready to make
another choice and surrender control of your life up to a Higher Power
(to learn "humility", we must often seek this help through a human
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle
that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us
"One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority,
lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
“The other is God - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth,
compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his
grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
divine or flawed, our parents tried to do the best they could, but
everyone is to some extent trapped by their own egoic devices. Though
our earthly parents tried to wisely guide our choices, there comes a
point when we realize they have reached the end of their ability... and
this is when our journey starts, when we begin to search for someone
who may guide us beyond. For many, this is where the healer steps in to
show you to the "Inner Door", where you may come to know your own
spiritual master - your Inner Parent.
Ego Attachment and Fear
We are frail and insecure creatures subject to a human nature that has
been thousands of years in the making, struggling with the basic needs
to survive in an ever changing world. We all have learned to hold on
with a death grip to people places things, no matter if it eventually
falls apart, fades and dies. This is our ego programing.
"Store not your treasures where rust
We hold on to concepts, beliefs, bodies, people, things, feelings,
memories... everything that is constant and does not change. No wonder
we are in fear... the fear of losing all these things runs our lives:
fear of loss, fear of being out of control, fear of pain, fear of
getting old, fear of dying, fear of being wrong... these are just a few.
And yet, as long as we are holding on, it seems inevitable and logical
that all things we "possess" will eventually fall through our hands...
and all our worst fears will be realized. What to do?
One of the more serious problems a soul may have while it exists in this
material world - even for the souls who dwell in the spirit realms - is
that of ego "attachment", be it to attract something to ones self, or
repel. Even the slightest degree of attachment, if combined with the
souls power of intention, can have serious consequences. One slight
intention can cascade into a series of events that once started cannot
be stopped. In the weightless of space, an imperceptible touch motivated
by a subconscious thought, may nudge an object towards a certain
trajectory.. so to can a person in body, with the slightest push of a
tiny rock, start a cascade effect that will create an avalanche of
boulders to roll down a mountain. In heaven as it is on earth, this is
the power of ego, intention, attachment, attraction and repulsion.
The universal law of attraction states that you will gravitate towards
and attract what you desire. But once you have the object of your
desire, it might then possess you.
If you hold anger, fear, hate and violence (no matter how deeply hidden
within your sub-consciousness) that is what you will magnetize to
yourself - no matter if it (or you) exists in physical or non physical
form. Such things will draw themselves to you as matter floating in
weightless space is attracted by the gravity of a planet. And as more
and more stuff is accumulated, it will add its density or weight upon or
around your soul... and quite possibly to your physical body (which may
be one cause of obesity). The more you can un-attach or let go of your
“stuff”, the freer and lighter you will become. This is of course easier
said than done... which is why we all need some extra healing help.
The best way we can ever hope to directly inter-face and
inter-act with what is real in this very moment is to not be prejudiced,
tainted, or influenced by all the “stuff” or "baggage" we hold. Over
lifetimes of journeying through many lands, we have accumulated much
"baggage", helpful at times, most is now outmoded and obsolete... yet we
are still carrying it around (and it is slowing us down).
Within every "bag" comes a number of multi-colored (some very dark)
reading glasses and an instruction manual on how to function in one
particular situation or another. Some baggage has a name on it that says
"relationships", one says "belief systems", and another "thoughts" and
so on. When we come into a new situation, we can't help but bring out
our "baggage", pull out our glasses and consult our manual. Some people
are very comfortable and feel safe with all this paraphernalia - it
gives them the belief that their lives are organized and they can make
sense of reality and thus know how to think, feel, and act in every
situation. Many are so fearfully attached to their stuff they won't
part from it for anything. Look around at all the things people have -
it’s all a reflection of their inner. The difficulty arises when, in
addition to all your baggage, the people we interact with bring their
baggage glasses and manuals... so instead of interacting directly with
that other person, you see them through this "stuff". When you realize
that your interpersonal relationships are filtered through"stuff", it
can be very saddening.
Once you are free of more and more stuff (via the healings) perhaps you
will begin to see that what you thought was reality is like nothing it
appeared to be: The people we thought we knew are nothing like they
really are. The truths we earlier believed in are empty shadows - mere
reflections of something else, deceptions or outright lies.
Underneath the surface, there exists layers and layers of diverse
consciousness and vibrations... whole worlds invisible to the material
eye... multi-dimensional beings behind beings... wheels within wheels...
spinning agendas desires and determinations... plans cast eons ago
unfolding in the now and eternal future. And we think we know what truth
is? The best we can hope for (if we really work at it) is to be clear
enough of our personal baggage so we can directly experience who we
really are... and perhaps, just perhaps, we may be able to really know
© Copyright 1999 - 2020 David Isaacson